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Put a Spork in It

Dear Atlantic City:
We know you’ve got problems — disappearing mayors, dead prostitutes, Pinnacle. But why in Jebus would you want to move the Knife & Fork? Forget that World War I monument — the Knife and Fork is a true AC landmark with in wacked out pink Flemish building, with its former speak easy status [...]

Tommy Cheeseballs Has 2255 Friends On MySpace And Is Still Raging In Seaside Heights. You Got A Problem With That?

We cannot say what exactly made us think to go looking on MySpace for Tommy Cheeseballs. (And before we go any further, yes, he calls himself that.) I suppose you could say that we were pondering what makes a Shore Legend most. And in this case, Tommy, whom you may remember [...]

Atlantic City Update: The “ACES” Train Is My Hot Hot Sexy

· There is some kind of cosmic justice in the fact that, on an express train from New York City to Atlantic City, there is but one stop: Newark. Damned if we can fish out what it all means, though. You’ll have to wait until early ‘09, though, to find out for yourself. That’s when [...]

Wildwood Stuck In Metaphysical Funk As Early Memorial Day Plays Mind Games With The Populace In General

Everything is open now — it has to be, seasons rage on, we cannot change back once the clicker has ticked forward — but it still feels strange. If you’d gone to the Wildwood Boardwalk as we did last Wednesday eve around 6pm, you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d accidentally stepped into the subconscious of [...]

Shoretalken Lost Beach Bums Desk: Dennis Wilson

Dennis Wilson: “Baby Blue Eyes” [mp3]
Note: If you see Dennis Wilson, do not fear or be alarmed by him. He is a gentle soul, and is now and has been since 1983 at one with the waves, rolling in, rolling out. For more, consult An Aquarium Drunkard.
Got a suggestion for great beach music? Tell us [...]

First-Ever Top Ten Jersey Beaches List Hypes Up Some Out-Of-The-Way, Underground Place Called “Wildwood”

Wildwood, NJ, we’re loving your moxie these days. Time was — and by that we mean just a few years ago — if you’d have asked us what Best-Of lists Wildwood would appear on, we would have been like, “Hmm, let’s see: Places to Get Stabbed, Places to Get A Tattoo You May Not Even [...]

Landshark Lager: The Least Distasteful Beer Of An Entire Generation Of Mutant Beach Juice

Landshark Lager: You probably only know about it if you’ve spent over $100 dollars in your life on things by, or related to, Jimmy Buffet. Which is a whole other conversation. But we’ll be honest: We’ve tried Miller Chelada. We’ve tried Bud Light Lime. We are no strangers to the mutant summer beer trend. And [...]